


Epiphany

by Insomniac_with_dreams



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Crying, Depressed Keith (Voltron), Depressed Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Keith has ptsd, Lance's Altean marks, Love Confessions, M/M, Paralyzed Keith, Post Season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-09-28 08:11:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17179154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insomniac_with_dreams/pseuds/Insomniac_with_dreams
Summary: A moment in which you suddenly see or understand something in a new way.





	Epiphany

 As usual a soft breeze whispered through the valley, softly rustling the Juniberry flowers. Lance leaned against a rake watching his nieces gather armfuls of flowers and make crowns. Peace. Quiet.Calm. Just as Lance had wanted, right? 

The flowers in the field and the marks on his face were gifts from Allura, so he must love them.

Lance sighed and looked up at the bright blue sky littered with a few fluffy clouds. He had been far beyond that blue and those clouds. He'd been to planets with names so outrageous that Uranus sounded normal. Those planets had been inhabited by aliens he had come to know, he liberated there homes, fought for their freedom, loved the purpose he had. He missed it, he really did. He remembered long nights on the observation deck of the Castle longing for home, now he longed for space. Or maybe he longed for purpose again. On nights that he would sit under the stars and pretend every shooting star was a ship coming to get him, he was gripped with jealousy. How he wanted to be back up there chasing his dream of touching the stars, like Keith.

Keith.

Lance had not seen or heard anything from him in a really long time. 

After the initial shock and anger Lance had felt after learning Keith was leaving again, he had felt jealous. Now he longed to see him again.

"Hey you okay, you were spacing out again." Veronica said as she stepped up next to Lance, placing a hand on his shoulder. Lance looked down and offered a smile.

" Yeah. I'm fine, just thinking."

"About Allura?"

Lance shook his head, 

" No. The other paladins."

"You guys are meeting up to day, aren't you?" Lance nodded.

"Do you think everyone will be there this time?" Lance shrugged, and felt something in him shift. It felt as if a dry wind had blow through him sweeping away anything he had left. He felt tired and as odd as it may seem, he felt old. His bones felt creaky and he felt a weight bearing down on his shoulders. He leaned heavily on the rake. 

"I hope" he said, "I hope." 

Veronica tightened her grip on his shoulder and stared worriedly up at him. He had changed, a lot. And it wasn't just that he was older, taller, stronger or even the new marks adorning his cheeks. He was different. His eyes looked dead and closed off, he was quieter and looked exhausted ninety percent of the time.

In the first few months Lance had agreed to go to therapy to help with side affects of the war and the grief of losing Allura. He had been doing so well. The family was no longer being woken up by Lance's nightmares, they still weren't. Yet as months passed Lance became distant, and quiet and off. Veronica wished she knew how to help him but she didn't.

" Well be safe okay?" Lance nodded and began walking back to the house. Veronica folded her arms and watched him leave, praying he would find peace somehow.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   

Lance wasn't really sure if he liked cars. For one thing he had to reteach him self to drive, and in no way did a car provide the elegant speed the lions did.

His parents had gotten him the car for his first birthday back on Earth. He had insisted he didn't want it, his parents insisted he needed it. He didn't. This was probably the third time he had driven the vehicle, but he was grateful for it now.

The team had decided that they would use Allura's statue as the place they would meet, so it felt as if she were there with them. The drive wasn't long but Lance relished in the silence.

Once reaching the statue Lance parked further away than necessary to respect Allura. Lance sat there in his small car composing himself. Finally he stepped out, shoved his hands in his pockets bowed his head and walked up to the statue.

" Lance!" Lance looked up only to be hugged by Pidge. "It's been forever since I've seen you! How have you been?" Pidge stepped back and looked Lance up and down eyes lingering on his Altean marks.

" I've been okay. I've missed you." They embraced again only to be lifted off their feet,

"Guys! It's been way,way to long! I'm so happy to see you both!" Hunk cried. He let them down wiping tears from his eyes. Lance smiled at hi, truly happy to see him.

"You're right Hunk it has been to long." Lance gathered both his friends into a group hug.

"I'm feeling a bit left out." They turned and saw Shiro standing a ways back smiling at them. Hunk held out an arm and Shiro joined the hug. It was almost perfect.

After untangling themselves from the hug they made their way over to picnic table at the base of Allura's statue. Hunk served up plates and they all settled. As they did everyone's eyes were drawn to the seat next to Lance, it was empty.

" Maybe he'll show" Shiro said, " Though I haven't heard from him in a while." Lance started and looked up at Shiro,

"You haven't?" Shiro shook his head,

" Have any of you?" Pidge, Hunk and Lance all responded with a no, and Shiro's eyes clouded with worry, briefly.

 " Lets enjoy each others company I'm sure he is fine." 

The group descended into conversation. Hunk and Pidge talked about how work was going and Shiro relayed how his honeymoon had gone. Lance mainly sat and listened, as he did he realized he missed Keith. Horribly.

" Do you not like the food?" Lance looked up at Hunk's anxious face,

"What? No. No the food is fine I was just lost in thought." Soft sympathetic looks were passed around the table. Lance kept his eyes down.

" So, I heard that Krolia and Kolivan are planning to come back for a little." Shiro said taking a bite from his sandwich. " Maybe they'll bring back some good stories."

"Do you think that Keith will be with them?" Pidge asked pushing her glasses up. Shiro shrugged, 

"Maybe. I doubt it though."

Conversation drifted back to normal life and Lance told them all there was to know about his life.

By the time it was time for them to part ways, the sun was setting and Lance was struck with a feeling of nostalgia. An evening watching the sunset on Black's mighty head, with Kosmo and Keith. Lance shook the feeling off as the shadow of Allura's statue fell over him.

" I'll tell you all when Krolia gets back. Till next time team." Shiro said hugging them all individually. They waved as he walked away, he lifted his real hand one last time before climbing into his car.

Pidge, Hunk and Lance had a tearful goodbye, and then Lance was alone. He looked up at Allura and smiled tiredly,

" Till next time Allura. I haven't let your message die I promise, but it's hard. I'm sorry if I fail. I miss you." Lance felt tears in his eyes as he shoved his hands into his pockets and walked back to his car.

 When Lance got back home Veronica wanted to know what happened and if everyone was there. Like Lance she was sorely disappointed that one paladin was missing.

That night lance had his first nightmare in months. It made no sense either. All it was, was a giant metal something groaning and screeching before collapsing. Screams ringing through the air, and a gasp for help in a voice he swore he knew.

Lance woke up panting and confused only to fall asleep and it replay over and over, until lance gave up sleeping and simply stared out his window at the stars.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Days turned to weeks and weeks to months. Lance's routine never changed, until one morning at three o'clock am he got a call.

"Hello?" Lance answered groggily.

"Hey Lance it's Shiro." Lance sat up rubbing his eyes trying to wake up more.

" Hey Shiro, what's going on, are you okay?"

"Yeah,I'm fine. Krolia's ship is in the atmosphere, I was wondering if you would like to come down. It would only be me and you." Lance thought for a bit,

"Sure, I'll be there in thirty minuets." Shiro hung up and Lance slipped out of bed and began to get dressed as quietly as possible.

It was a dark overcast night and lance wondered if it was going to rain. He tiptoed down the stairs, slipping on his shoes once he reached the bottom and grabbing his keys.

lance stepped out onto the porch and inhaled. A cool breeze blew past him smelling of rain and the distant sound of thunder rumbled in the night air. Lance stood eyes closed for a time before climbing into his car.

Driving at night where you couldn't see the landscape speed past made it seem that it took less time to get where you're going. Lance pulled into the empty parking lot of the garrison parking as close to the main entrance as he could get. The Garrison was lit and Lance could see the hanger in which the lions were housed. Lance felt a stinging pain that he could no longer feel a strong connections to the lions.

Shiro stood by the door and greeted lance when he walked up. They made their way through the garrison to the main hanger where Krolia had docked only minuets before. While they waited they complained about Krolia's horrible timing. Finally the ramp lowered slowly with a gush of steam. When it cleared Lance gasped. Three people were aboard the ship, but the third was being held be Kolivan.

Lance could barely breath when he recognized the person being held. He was pale, dark hair covering his face, a blanket wrapped around his lower half.

"Keith" he whispered. Shiro made a strangled noise,

"W-what happened?" Krolia looked away,

"He's paralyzed, from the waist down." Krolia breathed out, eyes on the ground. Lance felt as if he had suddenly been thrust underwater making his ears pop. Everything was muffled as Lance looked at Keith with wide eyes.

Shiro reached for Keith and Kolivan handed him to Shiro. Shiro took him with tear filled eyes. Keith turned away from Shiro his eyes locking with Lance's. The world came rushing back, and tears filled Keith's eyes and streamed down his face.

"I-I'm sorry . I'm sorry." Lance rushed forward cupping his face and hushing him in bewilderment. 

" Why are you apologizing. Keith? You have nothing to apologize for." Keith squeezed his eyes shut and began to shake violently. Lance looked up a few tears sliding down his cheeks and dripping off his chin. Krolia came up behind him,

"Can I talk to you?" she asked. Lance nodded and they made their way out into the fall. As soon as they did Krolia's mask broke. She wrapped her arms around herself and bowed her head. Lance placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. He put her hand over his.

" What happened, how did Keith get hurt?" Lance asked gently. Krolia shook her head,

" I don't know. I wasn't with him. I barely found out. I don't know how long either." Krolia bowed her head further, taking a shuddering breath.

"I failed him. I wasn't there when he needed me." lance didn't know what to do so he tightened his grip on her shoulder. After a while she looked up at him,

" Lance can you do something for me?" Lance nodded.

"Can Keith stay with you." Lance paused at that,

"Why me? Shiro is his brother."

"I know, but I feel he would find more peace on your farm." 

Lance honestly didn't know.

"He's changed," Krolia let out a sob "not in the good way. He suffers from flash backs. bad ones. He won't eat until I have to force him to. He rarely sleeps or talks. I don't know what to do. I'm scared, So scared." Lance made up his mind.

"I'll do everything I can to help him." Krolia let out another sob and grabbed Lance into a hug,

"Thank you, thank you so much." Lance gently wrapped his arms around her in return. He wondered what taking care of Keith would be like.

 

When they got back to the hanger they had gotten a wheelchair for Keith and Iverson had joined the small group. Shiro stood protectively over Keith, who stared at the floor. Krolia stepped forward and in a trembling voice explained what Lance and her had talked about. Lance watched Keith, trying to gauge his reaction. Keith's eyes never lifted from the ground his expression never shifting. Shiro how ever stared at Krolia like she was mad,

"Where are you going to be?" Shiro asked sharply, "I'm fine with Keith staying with Lance. It will help him, but where will you be." Lance turned to Krolia curios of her answer even though he knew she would be gone soon.

" Me and Kolivan will be in the Kintara galaxy. I don't know for how long, but. "She took a long shuddering breath, "we're leaving tonight again." Both Lance and Shiro gaped,

"Kintara is eleven galaxies over! What are you doing way out there?!" Shiro exclaimed. Lance had to agree Voltron hadn't even gotten that far out.

"We found a pocket of Zarkon's followers who don't know of his death yet, we're going to see if they would like to join us." Shiro looked as if he was about to say something when Keith spoke up startling them all,

" I understand mom, I'd love to stay with Lance." Krolia's eyes filled with tears and she hugged Keith kissing his cheek slowly. Keith looked up at Lance, violet eyes grey and fractured. " If he is fine with bearing me as the burden I am."

Shiro put a hand on Keith's shoulder,

" You aren't a burden Keith." Keith looked away from Lance to stare at his now useless legs. 

Lance stepped forward,

"Keith. I would be more than happy to help you. My family as well, you are more than welcome." In all honesty Lance had so many things he wanted to say, so many emotions racing through him. The relief of seeing Keith again and the horror of his state.

Keith slightly nodded in response to Lance not raising his eyes. 

 Iverson, Krolia and Shiro all stepped to the side to talk, leaving Keith and Lance alone. Lance couldn't remember the last time he had felt so awkward and unsure of himself. The atmosphere was uncomfortable and Lance shifted from foot to foot. There was something about seeing Keith Kogane, Red paladin to black, strong spirited and fierce, broken and quiet that Lance hated. As they were just siting there Lance got to look at Keith a little better.

Keith as everyone had changed in appearance. His hair could by no means be called a mullet, it  now brushed the bottom of his shoulder blades. His face had angled out and he bore a few new scars. Black bangs hid most of his face including the largest scar running up his cheek. Lance found comfort in that mark, it meant that this was actually Keith.

" You're back you'll be able to see another sunset." Lance said thinking back to that dusk conversation on Black's head. He remembered thinking that the paladins would never come back to Earth, yet here they were.

Keith lifted his head.He looked at Lance, he had an odd look on his face and Lance smiled at him.

" Don't tell me you forgot that conversation, Mullet?" Lance said with a smirk throwing in the old nickname,( despite it no longer being true). Keith studied him,

" You've changed Lance." Lance felt his smile falter and something flip in his stomach when Keith said his name. He smiled halfheartedly,

"I think we've all changed Keith. That's the price of war." Lance said quietly. Speaking of war, why was Keith returning to his home planet after the war paralyzed? Lance thought it was over, he thought no one he cared about would be hurt again.

They fell back into silence and lance was relieved when the others finally came back. Shiro rubbed his eyes and went to stand by Keith,

" I guess you're going with Lance. Are you sure that's okay?" Keith nodded. Shiro sighed and turned to Lance,

" Take care of him, okay? And if you need anything call me." Lance nodded.  

Krolia said goodbyes, and Lance didn't miss the look Shiro was shooting at her. Then before Lance knew it her ship was leaving and Shiro was helping him and Keith through the rain to Lance's car. Shiro lifted Keith from the chair and slid him into the passenger seat before stowing the chair in the back seat.

Shiro told Keith something Lance couldn't hear. Shiro hugged him before stepping away from the car and closing the door. Lance was drenched as Shiro hugged him as well,

" Lance this is going to be difficult, he is going to be difficult." Lance nodded,

"I know. I know Keith. I'll be fine." Shiro let him go. He smiled shakily at Lance before turning and jogging back towards the garrison.

Lance hopped into the driver side and brushed his wet bangs away from his face. He turned to Keith who was staring out the window, closed off. Lance contained a sigh and started the car.

The only noise on the way home was the pounding rain and the windshield wipers. Keith never stopped looking out the window, never said a word. So Lance was left with his thoughts of doubt and worry.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lance and Keith had made it safely home. Lance helped Keith out of the car as lightning illuminated the sky. Keith flinched and Lance wondered if he was afraid of storms.

Once in side the two storied house that was more of a vacation home, Lance was faced with his first problem. The stairs. His room was in an attic loft, therefore you had to climb the main staircase as well as the narrower one to Lance's room. He had left Keith's chair  in the car and Lance was now holding him. Both their faces were red but Lance was pretty sure for different reasons.

" So Keith. Can you stand at all by yourself?" Lance asked feeling breathless. Keith was a solid person, not exactly light.

Keith gave him an unimpressed look that Lance could barely make out.

" No Lance, I can't. You can leave me on the couch. Unless you are afraid of me freaking your family out in the morning."  Lance huffed shifting Keith in his arms,

" I'm not leaving you down here, sides we have to get used to going up and down the stairs." Saying this Lance began walking towards the stairs thanking his time as a paladin and farmer for his strength. 

The first flight had Lance panting and Keith apologizing over and over saying that he was fine with sleeping in the hall of all places. Lance refused.

After much struggle, ( more of a struggle than Lance would like to admit) they made it to Lance's room. Lance plopped Keith down on the bed maybe a little hard, and stretched his back. He looked down at Keith. He was looking around Lance's room, he looked curios and anxious. Lance smiled it felt odd on his lips.

" I'm going to go get ready for bed. Would you like to barrow some clothes?" Keith shook his head. His face was red again,

" These are comfortable. And clean. I'm good." Lance nodded and ducked into the bathroom to change. When he came out Keith was holding his cat. Lance looked at the door, they had left it open and she had invited her self in.

" Ah, I see you found Akira." Keith looked up and a small smile barely graced his lips. Seeing Keith with Akira reminded lance,

" Hey Keith, wheres Cosmo?" Keith's looked pained,

" He was killed the day of my accident." Keith looked down his hand stilled on Akira's fur. Lance felt horrible,

" I'm sorry Keith," Keith nodded but continued to stare down at his hands. Lance felt overly tired and glassed at his alarm clock. It was four thirty. He had to be up in an hour to start the morning chores.

Lance grabbed a pillow and extra blanket and threw then to the floor.

"What are you doing?" Lance looked at Keith, 

"Um...making my bed?" Keith looked at him tiredly,

" You can share the bed with me. I don't mind if you don't." Lance swallowed, " Plus I'm not going to be kicking you, so that's a bonus."

Lance was honestly to tired to really care, he threw the bedding back on the bed and tucked himself under the comforter. He reached and turned his lamp off.

" Night Keith." Lance yawned and Keith responded with a hum. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning Lance woke up slowly. Each of his limbs slowly waking up. First his arms and then his legs. His legs were pressed up against something insanely cold and hard. Frowning in confusion he lifted his blankets to peer under. His legs were pressed against someone else's pale ones. Lance panicked briefly pulling his legs away and sitting up. Then he remembered Keith. He looked over. 

Keith was in a sitting position cat again in his lap, asleep. Lance sighed running a hand through his hair and glanced out the window. The sky was overcast clouds heavy with rain, promising showers. 

Lance looked back at Keith debating whether or not to wake him. Akira cracked an eye open and stared him down with a look saying don't you dare. lance agreed with the cat.

Lance got dressed and began to hear his family waking up. His family. He was going to have to explain Keith to them. It didn't really matter they wouldn't mind at all.

Lance tiptoed to the door,

"Akira, come on let's go get some food." At the mention of food Lance thought the cat would jump up, instead she  stayed put. Lance stared before closing the door silently behind him.

The kitchen was filled with the wonderful smells of his mother's cooking. He greeted his siblings before helping to bring all the food to the table.

The meal commenced with the usual loud conversation and grabbing hands. Halfway through breakfast Lance's mom looked over at him.

" What's wrong Lance? Are you feeling okay, you haven't eaten anything." Lance looked down. He hadn't. He put his fork down and looked around the table,

" I have something to tell you all." The table quieted and his mom gave him an encouraging look.

" Do you guys remember Keith?" Lance asked. One of his younger brothers face lit up,

"You mean the guy with two swords, an awesome dog, can kick some serious bad guy butt and is an alien?" Lance smiled and laughed,

" Yes him." Eyes turned  towards him in anticipation. Lance had told them the stories of Keith and he was kind of a legend to the kids. Lance's smile dropped.

" He's here. Up stairs." The table exploded. Veronica squealed and questions like, where is he, can i see him, does he really have that scar, were thrown around in rapid succession. Until Aleja placed her hands on the table. Lance looked at his mother with gratitude.

" Guys, Keith is paralyzed." Gasped followed this statement and Veronica dropped her fork staring at Lance,

" What happened?" She asked. Lance shook his head,

" I don't know.I guess an accident on a mission. I was asked to take care of him by his mom." Lance looked straight at his mom who had a hand on her chest.

" Mom, is it okay?" Aleja looked at him,

" It is more than okay Lance. What kind of help does he need?" Lance felt helpless and somewhat lost. That was the exact same question he had been asking himself,

"I really don't know. I guess we'll play it by ear,"      

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~    

It turns out that Keith needed help in almost every way. Over the first few days Lance sat down exhausted and wrote down a list of the hardest things he had to do.

\- The bathroom.

-The stairs.

-Getting Keith to eat.

-Getting Keith to talk to him.

-Keith's nightmares. ( His own confusing reoccurring nightmare.)

-Keith's PTSD.

-Keith's trust issues.

After looking over his list he flopped his head down on the table and sighed. He had to admit out of all of the things he had listed, the bather was the hardest. By some miracle Keith could still use the bathroom somewhat normally. Cleaning him however was a different thing entirely. 

I took Lance, his mom, Veronica and Marco to get Keith clean. They didn't have a bath so Veronica, Lance and Marco held him up while their mom cleaned him. 

Keith had actually cried the first time they had to bath him. Lance had been startled out of his red faced flustered state, by a sob spilling from Keith's lips. Aleja looked up in alarm from where she was cleaning Keith's back. The next few minuets all the people standing in the small shower had attempted to calm the sobbing Black Paladin.

The showers slowly began to get better but it still was an uncomfortable time.

Keith liked being out doors. Rain or shine, dawn or dusk, noon or night. Lance was busy though and as much as he hated to admit it he would go off to the fields, and forget about Keith. Every time he came back to the attic to find Keith still sitting in the bed, black hair covering his face. Lance hated himself. So yes the stairs were a big problem.

Keith would rarely eat and when he did it was small amounts. Getting Keith to talk was frustrating to say the least. Days past of complete silence between the two.

Both Lance and Keith were suffering from nightmares. It frustrated Lance the same unnerving dream over and over again. Waking him  to witness Keith's nightmares. Lance would lay there his legs pressed against Keith cold ones, and watch him go through the dream. He'd learned not to wake Keith from his dreams, no matter how much it hurt to watch him in pain. 

Some days were better than others. Some days Keith would sit quietly in his chair out by the fields or in the house. Peaceful, calm, maybe a little sad. Then there were days where he would have intense flashbacks where he would tremble and grab onto the nearest thing, and hold on for dear life. Keith wouldn't be responsive and like the nightmares Lance had to wait it out.

On several occasions Lance had to pry a wriggling crying Akira from Keith's hands. Keith rarely remembered what he had done during a flash back but was confused and sad when Akira would avoid him.

Lance had been on the phone with Shiro several times seeking help for Keith. Things took time, and Lance realized that maybe Keith needed time now that he was allowed time.

Keith simple does not trust. 

Things take time and lance was willing to give him that.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   

Rain pattered softly against the roof and window in lance's bedroom. Keith sat at the window watching raindrops slid down it, Lance sat at his desk reading a book on Altean culture.

It was calm, peaceful,fragile.

" When we were in space, I missed rain." lance looked up startled. Keith still had his face towards the window but had turned his torso slightly towards Lance.

Lance swallowed,

" Yeah?" Keith nodded,

"It was always so rare where I lived, so it was always welcome. On days when it would rain I'd run and play in it with my shoes off. It was like magic to feel the once burning ground become velvety and cool. I'd tilt my head up and catch rain drops on my tongue."

Lance watched book forgotten. After weeks of Keith saying nothing he was suddenly talking. Lance imagined Keith running out into a rainy overcast Arizona day, feet slapping the wet ground, hair plastered to his forehead. Eyes matching the storm.

Eyes matching the storm. Lance felt something stir in him. Something that terrified and exhilarated him all the same, something he had locked away.

" Me too," He whispers " I missed the rain to." Keith finally turns to him, the wheels of his chair squeaking. Then he smiles at Lance. It's not big. but no hair is obscuring his face. Lance can see his storm cloud eyes, perfectly. Keith is open right now and Lance can't help his own large smile.

He gets up and walks over to Keith kneeling in front of his chair. Strawberry spread across Keith's porcelain cheeks. Lance reached for his hand and Keith let him take it. 

" I never told you how glad I was you were back, and how much I missed you." Lance wanted to bring Keith's fingers to his lips and kiss each one. Keith squeezed his hand,

" I missed you too,I'm sorry I wasn't in contact." Keith looked away and withdrew his hand, Lance mourned the loss, " and I'm sorry I came back broken and a burden."

Lance reached up and turned Keith's face to him,

" You aren't broken, only a little bent. And you aren't a burden you are never a burden. Heck half the time I wonder why you aren't still out there fighting for your cause, because you're running circles around us." Lance smiled eyes searching Keith's. Keith nodded. The two sat in silence. Until Keith yawned and blinked tiredly.

"Lance, can you carry me to the bed?" Lance was absolutely ecstatic. Keith had asked him for help!

" Of course." Lance scooped Keith up and frowned, he was light almost dangerously light. How could he have lost that much weight in just a few months?

"Keith you need to start eating. You're gonna give my mom a heart attack." Keith didn't say anything and buried his head in Lance's shoulder. Lance got to the bed,

" Do you want to sit or lay?" Lance asked.

"Lay." Keith said, " On my right side so I can look at you." Lance's face exploded in red. He became even more aware that Keith only wore boxers and a large hoodie that belonged to Lance's dad.

"O-okay, yeah that's cool." lance lay Keith gently on his side arranging him until he was comfortable. Akira saw the spot next to Keith as rightfully hers and hopped up into Keith's arms. Keith made a happy sound and Lance had to turn around to compose himself.

He had told himself a long tome ago that he was in love with Allura, not Keith. Yet here those damned feelings were again. No he couldn't be moving on that fast, besides Keith probably didn't even like him.

"Lance?" Lance turned back towards Keith who was looking up at him in concern. Lance gulped and shuffled his feet,

" Do you want me to lie next to you?" Keith's face went pink and he quickly looked down at Akira.

" Only if you want to. You can sit or you can even leave. I'll just go to sleep." Lance rolled his eyes smirk playing on his lips. Lance lay on his side so he could look  at Keith as well. The pair sat there in silence. Lance watching Keith card his fingers through Akira's fur.

" Tell me about your most recent adventures." Lance said in a whisper. He longed to know what Keith had been doing.

Keith smiled down at the cat, faintly.

" I got out pretty far, to planets Voltron never got to. Most of my missions were all the same. Land on planet help as best he could, then leave. One planet though was my favorite. It was a dessert planet with little watering hole towns. The creatures that lived there were like an odd mix between a lion and a turtle. I loved those little people Lance."

 Keith looked up and Lance was laughing,

" Whats so funny?" Keith asked faintly breath taken by Lance's smiling face.

" Lion turtles? I can't even picture those, like how does that even work?"

Keith smiled,

" well they walked on two legs, lion legs and they had turtle shells and heads." Lance was laughing harder his blue Altean marks glowing. Keith stared at them, Lance noticing looked down. Laughter subdued, smile softening.

"What is it?" Lance whispered not wanting to disturb the atmosphere. Keith reached up and ran a thumb over Lance's cheek brushing the mark. Lance shivered and his eyelids drooped.

"They're glowing." Lance's eyes slipped closed, his body felt like he was being washed in warm waves. His mind focused on the calloused hand stroking over his cheek. Peace. Calm. Belonging.

Blue eyes, starlight hair, a single kiss. They flashed through his mind. Lance's eyes opened and he took a shuttering breath. He grabbed Keith's wrist moving his hand from his face.

"I promised." lance said. Keith blinked and looked down,

"Right. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." Since Keith couldn't turn over himself he squeezed his eyes shut and brought the cat to his chest. Lance winced but turned over and flipped off the light. Hopefully he would know what to say to Keith in the morning, but for now he was angry and guilty. Two emotions hard to share in a level headed manner.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Lance stared at the wall. Moonlight cut through the shutters and streaked across the floor. The fields were silent not a petal could be heard stirring. The night was silent but Lance's thoughts were swirling.

They returned to that feeling over and over again.Warm and welcomed. Lance hated it but longed for it. 

He loved Allura. He knew he did but he longed for Keith's touch his lips, his words. He wanted to hold Keith tell him what he was feeling. Yet he was horrified st the thought that those feelings were coming back. He thought he had dismissed them, banished them to the darkest recesses of his mind and Heart.

Keith sighed beside him. Lance sat up his feelings and thoughts becoming to much. He slipped from the bed and left the room silently. Out the front door, down the stone lined path to the twisted tree that sat at the bottom of a small hill in the middle of the flowers. The moon was so bright Lance cast a shadow and he could see perfectly. The stars were dim but still there.

 Lance slid down the gnarled trunk of the tree. He stared up at the dim stars,

" Allura, I'm sorry. I-I'm not, I." Lance didn't know what to say. He drew his knees up and put his forehead between his knees. He needed something right now he didn't know what but something,

" Blue", he croaked calling out to his first lion. Pleading for guidance. Nothing no feeling. 

"Red! Please help me! Please I don't know how to help Keith! I don't know how to keep my promise with Allura. I don't know how not to be in love with Keith." Nothing. Lance felt helpless frustrated tears build in his eyes.

" _Red paladin, look at the stars you are not as alone as you think."_ Lance looked up not recognizing the smooth voice. There looking like moonlight it's self was the black lion. Long black mane, piercing gold eyes regal stance. Lance scrambled to his feet staring awe struck a the lion before him.

"Black..." The lion stepped forward soundlessly.

_" I could think of no other way to reach you. I may not know what is troubling you and I might be confined to a certain place, but i felt your  anguish and pain. I saw it in your eyes. You've changed, but as you say that is the price of war."_

"Keith. It's you." The lion nodded, flickering. Lance reached towards the lion his hand went through the lions mane, his fingers tingled at the feeling. Pulling his hand back he looked up at the lion.

The lion sat next to Lance under the tree under the stars.

_"Remember the conversation on Black's head? The one at sunset."_ Lance nodded eyes still trained on the flickering lion.

_" I meant everything I said. I had longed to tell you those things for so long, because Lance,"_ Keith or black turned his head towards Lance. His name said as a growl, _" I had fallen in love with you. I knew you loved Allura and your happiness was what I wanted most. And then I came back into your life and fell back into love with you. Forgive me."_ The mighty head bowed and Lance felt tears spill down his cheeks,

"Oh, Keith. I." Lance stopped as something explainable washed over him. A realization an admittance an acceptance.

Keith.

Keith who gave him purpose, Keith who gave him a chance, Keith who gave up his lion, Keith who made him realize his self worth, Keith who was still doing it.

Keith who he loved. Keith who he loved. 

Keith who loved him back.

Then Lance was up and running. Leaving the lion to fade into the moonlight and the unnoticed figure of Allura to smile.

Up the hill, up the stone laid path. Laughter and tears spilling from him. Through the front door up the stairs into the room. To Keith.

"Keith! Oh Keith." Lance said diving to the bed wrapping his arms around the other boy. Keith grabbed him back as if his life depended on it.

"Keith." Lance said his name as if it belonged to a god. Lance sat up eyes trained on Keith,

"I love you too." Keith smiled and silver eyes filled.

"You do?" Lance nodded,

" But Allura."

Lance smiled,

"I feel as if she would want me to move on to find you and catch you and keep you." Keith smiled, but it fell.

"I'm paralyzed,you'd have to take care of me like I'm a baby. I'd burden you." Lance shook his head moving Keith's bangs out of his face.

" You give me purpose, Keith. You bring meaning to my life, you are more a blessing than a burden. I love you for it."

"It'll be hard. I'm stubborn." Lance nodded smiling,

"I know how stubborn you are, and I'm willing to go through the hard parts. Even if I don't know the full story yet ,we have time. I want to spend it with you." Keith smiled and wrapped his arms around Lance. Lance took a chance. He leaned forwards and pressed his lips to Keith's. Keith sighed eyes closing lips meeting Lance's. They broke the kiss and Lance leaned his forehead against Keith's.

"You don't know how long I wanted that." Lance whispered sliding down so his head lay on Keith's chest. His legs intertwined with Keith's cold ones.

Keith looked to the window. 

_Thank you Allura. Thank you for helping me reach him._

Though doubt may still remain, and stories had yet to be told, and hardships waited at every corner, they had time. 

Time was all they needed.   

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_The stars were waiting for me to find you,_

_and found you I have._

 

 

 

 

  


End file.
